As I walk down the street
the eerie quiet enraptures me
it sends me to my thoughts
thoughts of torture, death
I stop to breathe
but the fog that surrounds me
does little to ease my fear
it’s growing, rising, and rising
I began to walk again
to escape the fear
pressure bears down on my chest
I am afraid
I am alone
it wraps around me
a weightless colorless gas
squeezing my breath from me
I fall to the ground
rolling over I reach out
searching for leverage
and I grab my pillow
begging it to never let me dream again
Before Healing Wounds was a classic romance story, it was Juggling Jayda, the story of two men vying for the love of one Jayda Price. Here’s an excerpt, a scene between she and Liam told in 1st person by Jayda:
“Come here.” He hopes out of the trucks and comes around to my door. “Come.”
I hop down and he grabs on hand. We go to the front of the car and lefts me to the hood. I’m hovering over him. Which feels strange, he looks so small.
“I love you but I can’t make you love me. Your right I took a chance thinking you would be as eager as I was to take things to another level. I was wrong but I can’t just drop these feelings.” He is now standing about five away. “I’m so fucked up in the head Jada. I try but I’m still and always am going to be that angry anxious guy. But I’m not him when I’m with you. You’re my sanity. I don’t want anyone to take that away.”
“He did. When I thought you had slept with him I went over the edge, lost it. Popped two Adderall and still couldn’t come down. Until I was pulled over.” He laughs. His laugh is still warm and affectionate. I hop down realizing he put me up there so wouldn’t touch him, comfort him.
“This isn’t going to be easy for you, for us. But we’ve always been there for one another. I’m here for you.” I stand in front of him taken his hands into mine. “Always!” He takes my hand to his cheek and leans into it. I hold it there wanting to take away his pain. I can’t.
“You’re too good to me.” He wraps his arm around my neck pulling me into him. His other around my waist, kissing my forehead and talking to some invisible being, “God, I love this woman.” And he breaks down. I have never seen him this way. His hold on me is stronger and I embrace him tighter wanting to take it all back. Wanting to fall out of like with Michael and in love with Liam so that he doesn’t have to hurt. But I can’t. I cry too holding the man I love more than anything in the world.
“You won’t lose me Liam. I promise you’ll never lose me.” I hear my phone ringing from the car but I need Liam to be okay so I ignore it. I’m thinking back over the last five years; where I came from and where I am now. I’m thinking about everything that I have and everything that I have never had to want for. I’m thinking about my second family in Texas, my mismatched eyed Collie that Liam adopted because I thought the pound would put her down. I’m thinking about this studio behind me. And I realize that Liam has been wooing me since the day we met. How did I miss it? All of this is my fault and I can’t make it right. I want to but I don’t know how. “Let’s go Liam, back to your place.” I smile up to him and for the first time I see him differently. I see him as more than just my friend.
You," he said, "are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain.
Emilie Autumn (via coldfact)
(Source: rauchwolken, via stasrhymeswithday)
So I’m on day 13 of the impossible journey to finish a 50,000 word novel in the lone month of November. Did I say impossible? Well, in 2011 when I first tried my hand at NaNoWriMo I was a complete and utter failure. I finished that book this past August and published it.
You want to know what keeps you going and on track? Pure determination and a schedule. So I made a schedule, wrote out a character list, and began writing. Now I’m 13 days and 32,000 words deep into my book. To say it’s been easy would be a lie. I had to fight myself not to go back and make changes to the work before it was complete. So I did anyway and then found myself ahead of schedule.
Unfortunately that set me up for another issue. The “I’m ahead so I’ll take a day off” syndrome. So I took a Thursday off then joined in on write club on Friday and cranked out 3,000+ words in a few hours, then took the entire weekend off and manage only 856 words on Monday and about 1,000 on Tuesday. I hit a rut and am attempting to find my way out. It’ll happen I’m sure. Until then I hang out on Twitter waiting for my inspiration to call.
Where are you on your write month goal?
I’m excited to be releasing one book for every month December through February! I have been writing non-stop to finish what is looking like the last book in the Scott/Price Family Drama series, All I Ever Wanted.
In addition I am writing Lexi: The Diary of a Dancer as my NaNoWriMo project which has a surprise element.
I’ll try to post lots of excerpt and in December I’ll have so cool things to giveaway; box sets, book marks, t-shirts, and other fun things.
…the third installment of the Scott/Price Family Drama series is due out in December. We find out why Mackenzie called Michael and there will also be a hint of 1,437 Days buried in there.
Cover contest. This February I’ll be publishing “1,437 Days”, but I need your help selecting the perfect cover. Below is a synopsis, excerpt and final three cover choices A B & C respectively. Tell me your choice and help decide which cover will help us raise $$$ for ALS research. Leave you comment to vote!
Chase Curtis has always appreciated life in New Orleans working aboard his father’s shrimping boat. Anything to help his family. Plus it meant that his younger brother Nathan was free to live the lifestyle he desperately wanted when he left for D.C. years ago. But at age thirty-one Chase is diagnosed with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS), Chase has been given little time before the disease claims his body. Regardless of the time he has left Chase has vowed to live everyday as if were his last. And he won’t be living it alone, his best friend Joy has promised to stand by his side through it all.
"It started with the button of my shirt at my brother’s wedding. I kept trying but I couldn’t get my fingers to work properly. That’s when I should have said something, done something. But I was being stubborn, even Joy could see the worry written on my face then. It didn’t compare to the fear riddling through my body now as she held my hand. The doctor had said it so confidently I couldn’t argue with the results. I had Amyotropic Lateral Sclerosis or as he said so kindly put it, "ALS". I was going to loose everything that defined me as a person. I was going to loose my ability to walk, talk, and breathe. I was going to die."
-Chase Curtis, 1,437 Days
Healing Wounds is FREE and Secrets Kept is $1.99. Only for today and tomorrow so get it while the prices are unbeatable, 4.7/5 stars!